Grieving Queen seeks solace in Brown, the steadfast Scot

In all the excitement nobody seems to have noticed that a Scotsman called Brown slipped quietly into Buckingham Palace this week.

Does this presage the quiet admiration lavished on another Scotsman by another generation of the Royal family ? As the Queen grieves over the memories of her most favourite wife of the next and future King - has she sought solace in that rough embrace, redolent of the Fish Dock in the Lang Toon combined with the perfume of midnight scolarship in the Manse. Och Aye! the Romance of Scotland.

Will his visits become more regular - will there be something in this dour Scot's awkward shyness, his sly obseqiousness that 10 years subserviance to His Masters Voice has instilled in him that have made him attractive to Lady Helen Mirren ? (AKA Queen Elizabeth II ).

Will the Glens of Balmoral and the valleys of Speyside echo to the soft sussurations of tender nothings from Brown as she watches him ply his rod and flies in the soft summer sun ? Sylvie Krin could soon be telling us the tale.... shared breakfasts from the Tuppwerware ....

Is David Icke correct ? Have the Purple Lizards led by HM taken over ? A clue maybe is that the Lady Dame Jane Pauline Neville Jones Fan Club have been augmenting Gubment*** in the shape of Sir John Stevens K.St.J ,QPM, DL, LL.D, Hon DCL, M.Phil, CIMgt, FRSA , Master of the Inconclusive and Lengthy Inquiry (who it must be remembered forecast the 21/7 bombers in the pages of News of the World) he is of copurse also an advisor on Policing to the Governments of advises the South African, Jamaican, Bulgarian, Romanian, Qatar and Greece.

Admiral Sir Alan West GCB,DSC. and one time Chief of Defence Intelligence has also ben appointed as amanuensis to Jacqui Smith the new and naive Home Secretary and swiftly and prominently figured in her small entourage to chair the COBRA committee this weekend.

*** Lady Dame Jane Pauline Neville - Jones will of course continue as the Fan Club's spokesperson to BBC Newsnight, Today, World at One, PM, BBC World News with her comments syndicated to the TV / Press throughout what we used to proudly call the "White Commonwealth".