Lord Levy kidnapped again

Trim slim, bouffant haired, stack heeled, Lord Levy the Karaoke King of Totteridge happily trolled along to Plod's offices today answering bail on charges relating to antique laws (Honours (Prevention of Abuses) Act 1925 and Political Parties, Elections and Referendums Act 2000)about taking cash for coronets.

Imagine his surprise therefore when Plod asked him to step this way and arrested him for "perverting the course of Justice" and then showed him into a room where a small collection of caged canaries were happily singing away.

Lord Patel is pleased to say that his fellow Lordship, after a brief discussion and a curious handshake between his solicitor and PC Plod, it was decided that charges would not be raised and that after relieving him of further samples of his hair, bootlaces, nail clippings, passport, and his copy of the Daily Telegraph he was allowed to go.

Lord Levy, who enjoys trips to the Middle East meeting important people to talk to, joins previous arrestees petite canary flavoured Ruth Turner, big mouthed Sir Christopher Evans and boastful, stupid head teacher Des Smith.

There will be no free oxygen or free drinks in the new super casinos says the Minister Mrs Mills, exposing the "tricks" of those wily "Las Vegas" hoodlums today. ( .. and probably not where Lord Levy is heading - although there can be very entertaining soapy high jinks in the showers - soap on a dope ?).

What an exciting day.